Post Traumatic Growth In Therapy
“EMDR has already changed my life. It did for me in 6 weeks, what 6 years of talk therapy couldn’t do. It shifted my day to day experience. It gave me the ability to sleep and to feel safe again.” - June, 2019
The Impact of Trauma
Trauma can impact every aspect of life: relationships, behaviors, thoughts and emotions. Emotional pain can make you dread going to sleep, waking up, eating and even interacting with loved ones.
Losing a loved one, having a life dream shattered or learning something about yourself or a family member that shakes you to the core can feel incredibly isolating. But major losses in life can also open doors to big transformations. They often become the catalyst for a life filled with more meaning, connection and vitality than you've ever known before.
What is Trauma?
Most people think about trauma as a war or a near death experience, but in therapy we know that trauma is present when we see some specific symptoms. Those symptoms result from an experience (or many experiences) where our brains and bodies were overwhelmed with fear or shame.
If you find yourself avoiding emotions, people or situations that remind you of past negative experiences, sabotaging opportunities, or engaging in relationships and behaviors that make you feel like you’re reliving the past, your stress response systems are probably being activated in a way that’s not helping you thrive.
In those moments, it can seem like we don’t have access to the more philosophical and emotionally intelligent parts of ourselves.
Post Traumatic Growth
People can find their deepest fulfillment and growth in response to (not just in spite of) failures, adversity and heartbreaks. I'm a trauma therapist with a collaborative, curious, affirming, warm, and non-judgemental style. I love helping people get out of survival mode after major life stressors and into meaningful, joy filled lives.
It's brave to face your fears and shame head-on in therapy. It's also worth it. I'll do my best to make to make the process as seamless as possible. To be able to work through things in therapy, you need a therapist that you trust. If I'm not the best therapist for you, I'll connect you to someone who's a better match.
Healing Relationship Wounds
If you’re struggling with a relational trauma it might feel like the past is getting played out in new relationships again and again, or like the traumatic event is happening right now. You might find that your mind replays a humiliating memory on repeat, makes you repress it completely or triggers a behavioral response when you’re feeling insecure.
EMDR works on the non-verbal parts of our brain, making it effective at healing relational wounds. It often leaves clients feeling clearer and more connected, creating a sense of safety in your body and with other people again.
If you find yourself acting out in your romantic relationships, avoiding conflict or getting emotionally flooded and spacing out, EMDR can help you feel calmer and respond instead of reacting.
Clients often describe the effect as giving you more space between what triggered you and your emotional response.
How Triggers Impact You
If you’re struggling with trauma, your body often has an overwhelming response to something that your mind knows logically isn’t dangerous.
That’s because the part of our brain that processes threats picks up everything it can that’s present in the moment of danger… it’s not always intelligent or nuanced about it.
If you’re finding yourself unable to live or work because it feels like the danger is happening NOW, EMDR can help you by allowing your brain to process the memory. That means that instead of being stuck on replay like a skipping CD, you’ll experience it the traumatic experience something you remember from the past.
Most clients appreciate the grounding and soothing exercises that are part of EMDR and end up feeling supported by a strong foundation of practices that can help calm your brain and body. Many of these techniques are proven to be helpful in managing pain and there are now specific protocols for using EMDR to soothe chronic pain and inflammation.
Trauma, Addiction Recovery & Compulsive Behaviors
If you’ve lived with trauma or compulsive behaviors, you’ve probably had the experience of acting in ways that seem like they don’t make sense.
One minute it’s a normal day, then a minor or major stress or trigger happens… and you’re back to doing the thing you said you’d never do again.
An addiction is essentially a pattern of behavior that becomes powerfully difficult to stop… even when negative consequences occur and the rational part of you knows it’s hurting you.
This experience is common in clients who have experienced trauma because when we’re triggered, the parts of our brain that get activated are much older, preverbal and protective.
The parts of our brain that we need to run from a bear or fight an intruder are not the parts that are super great at solving complex problems or soothing us emotionally.
EMDR Can help bring the wiser, more functional adult parts of your brain back online, making it easier to feel like you have a choice about how you respond and what you behaviors you choose to engage in.
Cults, High Demand Groups, Spiritual Oppression & Religious Trauma
Spiritual communities are supposed to be a place where people can get in touch with powerful emotions or engage in rituals that bring us a sense of safety and connectedness.
Abusive teachers, cults, oppressive and rejecting forms of religion and the abuse of power can seriously disrupt our contemplative practice and our lives. It can challenge our ability to feel whole and capable in the world.
Spiritual trauma can impact our sense of trust, make us feel alone, confused, blamed and ashamed and instill beliefs that make us feel unsafe and unworthy.
If you’ve experienced a serious misuse of power in a spiritual community, it’s important to know that you deserve an environment that is validating, and empowering.
It’s possible for EMDR to be a completely secular experience or for us to work with aspects of spirituality that still feel healing for you.
