Feminist Couples Counseling and Relational Mindfulness for Couples

What Happens in Couples Therapy

If you’re human, you’ve probably noticed that in one moment or part of your relationship you can show up with incredible wisdom and kindness… but then in a moment of reactivity you come face to face with your shadow and struggle to embody your deepest values in conflict or in the absence of your significant other.

Some relational behaviors can make you feel like you’re in a trance or like your body’s been taken over by an evil twin.

When insecurities and old patterns get kicked up, a simple conversation can start to feel it’s moving in circles and you’re spinning your wheels. Attempts to get closer seem to push your partner away, attempts to get your needs met seem to make things worse.

If the problems in life are between you and your life partner and they go unaddressed over time, minor annoyances can evolve into gridlock, shame, confusion, passive aggression, stonewalling or even battle when you try to solve them together.

You owe it to yourself, to your partner, to your family and to the world to enjoy the most meaningful parts of relating.

That’s why I love working with couples who are committed to gender equality, want to break free from habitual patterns of relating and explore new ways to communicate more authentically. It can be liberating to start recognizing triggers and defenses and responding to each other in a way that cues safety and openness.

Couples therapy can change the game by moving you from manipulation to playful dialog…

We’ll create opportunities to have conversations that go places you’ve never been before… or at least that you’ve haven’t been in a long time.

Together old family traumas become opportunities for healing and being heard. You’ll be reminded of the strengths in yourself, your partner and your relationship.

You deserve joy, healing, lightness, depth and connection in your relationship that goes beyond what you’ve seen and experienced in the past. But it’s hard, if not impossible to do it alone.

Human’s are relational by nature.

Who’s a Good Fit

We have to be open to risk in order to have satisfying relationships.

It’s vulnerable and brave to drop your defenses, to get in touch with your heart and to start speaking from your authentic self.

But it’s worth it.

Anxieties start to take a back seat to authentic connection to your partner in the present moment.

In therapy, you’ll find yourself becoming disinterested in unsatisfying thought loops that take you away from each other, critical stories about your partner, shame spirals and fantasies your mind’s been chewing like a bone. They’ll be replaced with a truly nourishing, exciting and emotionally honest narrative that honors and inspires you both.

The healing that happens in the container of your primary relationship will becine a catalyst for growth in all other areas of your life and community.

And that sense of knowing that you can mess up, that your partner has your back and that you can let yourself feel safe… that will change the way you look at the world around you.

I promise if you’re willing to wear your heart on the sleeve and put your cards on the table, you’ll discover aspects of your relationship that are far more complex, strong, committed, dynamic, playful, sexy and spontaneous than you ever could have imagined.

Life Transitions, Marriage, Parenthood

When partners go through major life transitions, your relationship with each other faces increased stress. Emotions run high and wires get crossed. It’s easy to feel unappreciated or afraid of what might come next.

Slowing down can help us recognize bids for connection and affection and respond in ways that soothe and support instead of instigating or exacerbating anxiety.

Couples therapy can also be helpful when a relationship needs to change or end and help you transition gracefully into a new way of being.

You don’t have to break up by leaving a trail of destruction or avoiding hurt feelings. You can consciously uncouple while learning and sharing appreciation.

LGBTQ Affirmative

I primarily work with women, queer folks and feminist men. I also work with polyamorous folks and welcome all kinds of partners who want to be more wise and compassionate in relationship with others.

Couples therapy can be intense, beautiful and exhausting.

You and your partner(s) are showing up to recommit to each other and your own loving intentions, to transform generations of trauma and to tell each other new truths.

You deserve a therapist who will gender you correctly and who will understand that people experience romantic and sexual attraction in as many ways as we express it.

Call (973) 738-7618 or click HERE to schedule a free 20 minute consultation based on your availability.